Thursday, July 24, 2008

All Creatures Great and Small...Are Stupid!

What is up with animals? Well, at least with the ones we own?
1. Chickens
So, we worked on Tuesday to make the chicken coop inescapable and comfy for the 9 chicks. Which technically, I guess, are pullets now not chicks. Anyway, we covered the thing in chicken wire, moved in an old bookcase and milk crates that will serve as nesting boxes, and outfitted the whole thing with fluffy, sweet smelling hay. Then we turned the little idiots loose and let them go to town in their new home, running around, scratching the ground, eating bugs -- Chicken Paradise! We even put Marshall on the chain, just in case, any of them found an invisible way out. This was a good idea on our part because later after we went out to eat for K's birthday and came home in the POURING RAIN, we found the chicken coop to be EMPTY and those stupid yardbirds huddled in a clump in the middle of the yard. Bird brained is a pretty accurate description for these 9 birds who, in a driving rainstorm, forsake the warmth of their new roost to break out of said roost and sit in the cold, wet grass just outside their coop. Thankfully, we are only slightly less stupid than them and find them and put them back in their "baby cage" Obviously, they are not yet ready for more mature housing arrangments.
2. Goats
On Saturday K and I slaved in the furnaces of hell that are outdoor Alabama in late July to repair the fallen goat shelter. I felt badly that they were sleeping in the dirt and getting wet in the rain, especially since I read online the goats HATE getting wet. So, we not only repair the goat house we actually build a new one and it takes ALL DAY. Fast forward to Tuesday the aforementioned night of pouring rain and chicken I'm going inside, dripping wet mind you, after getting the chickens settled I glance over at the goats. I'm thinking, "I bet they're glad to have their new house in rain like this!" But are they? NOOOOO! Those stupid things are laying in their dirt-spot, getting soaked, SLEEPING. Hey, National Pygmy Goat Association, I got three prime specimens for you that apparently enjoy water! So you may want to check your expert advice!
3. Dog
In all of this chaos (that, by the way, is totally normal for us), the King of the idiot animals we own, Marshall, is barking and howling and just generally carrying on like St. Peter's calling him to glory. Remember, he's on the chain to prevent any more horrific dog on chicken action? Anyway, yes, he is on the chain but it is next to his DOG HOUSE. Why, in the name of all that is holy, is he out in the pouring rain, too? I mean, my opinion of Marshall's intelligence was very high. He can stand on his hind legs and open fences with his nose, I've seen him! Why-oh-why is he too out in the rain?

You've heard, "They ain't got the sense to get out of the rain," apparently the person who first said that was familiar with animals. I'm surprised they didn't all look up to see where the water was coming from and drown -- IDIOTS!

Sometimes you've got to laugh or you'll cry! And on the bright side, at least the kids have the brains to get out of the rain.....oh, never mind.


Rachael M. said...

This just made me laugh out loud.

Sully - who swears we are trying to starve him to death - eats so fast sometimes when I feed him, that he immediately pukes.

I don't get it.

Every time he eats fast, he pukes. Why would he keep eating fast???

But I am POSITIVE he would get out of the rain. LOL I think the only animals that hate water more than every other pygmy goat but your three is cats. LOL

Emily said...

That is too crazy! Our dog thinks he's a Great Dane and everyone should run in terror when they hear him bark. But all you have to do is say his name and he runs with his tale between his legs. Then you turn to walk away and he runs after you barking...staying far enough away just in case you turn again. IDIOT!