Thursday, September 17, 2009

My way

This week has been a dilly! Multiple ups and downs all around. Anyway, we've been struggling particularly with Holdy-boy this week. He's super sweet and so smart its actually scary but, he loses focus so easily I find myself having very un-Mommy-like meltdowns.
I think we both had a break-through this week after a lot of tears and strife. The climax came Tuesday after several school days of leaving/forgetting books, papers, and assignments at school I had had enough and snapped (it was not pretty). My snapping caused him to immediately tune me out (of course, wouldn't you?).
However, one comment brought all my self-righteousness crashing down and humbled me. We were reviewing his vocabulary words and got to "independent". The definition that he is to learn is something like "doing things by yourself, without help from others means you are independent." I, thinking that I was really going to teach this little punk a lesson, said "What does independent mean?"
Holdyn: "um, well, it means, uuuuhhh..."
Me mad: "Oh come on, listen, Daddy and I are trying to teach you to be independent; that means we are trying to teach you to do things, what?"
Holdyn: "Your way."
Me: no response, I felt like someone just got in a good gut punch.

Ephiphany - I should be letting him find his own way to do homework, study, and learn. My way isn't the only way. I can share my ideas with him and give him permission to find out for himself. If I want him to be independent, truly independent then he needs to fail, have hard times, and learn to think through his problems not just immediately employ my solution.

Needless to say, we had a good, long, rational talk. No yelling, screaming, and dictating. I listened to him. I'm embarassed to say that may have been the first time I actually listened to what my son had to say - what he thought and felt. While I'm not anticipating perfection from either of us in the future. But, at least on Tuesday we made progress and both matured a little.

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

We're here

Hi all! I just wanted to let you all know that we are here and kickin'. We're just doing so underneath a giant pile of sawdust, dry wall mud, plastic sheeting, school papers, donut boxes, and clean clothes.

Our livingroom is under massive renovation and the stuff usually in said livingroom has been parceled out among the other rooms in the house. This means, we can't find most things, we're too tired to look, or I've thrown them out in an effort to gain some semblance of order.

The kids have been in school for close to four weeks. I'm on my second week of classes and working. Krager is on his third set of lungs as the other two were ruined by plumbing glue, sheetrock dust, and foundation dirt.

We're a mess right now so just bare with us! I'm reading all of your blogs and posts.