Wednesday, August 22, 2012

A belated birthday wish for two early girls

The Birthday Girls with their first-ever Build-a-Bear friends
These two girls came into our lives 8 weeks earlier than planned. But, in many ways, they came right on time. In many ways, they saved me. Being a mother had been my life-long dream and when Holdy-boy was born part of me was so, so happy. And yet, I struggled. Looking back, I'm sure I was suffering from post-partum depression. I felt awful, lonely, and isolated. Holdyn was a terrific baby, K a terrific husband/daddy, and I was living my dream, but I just couldn't function much of the time. Slowly things got better (not great, just better). I was thrilled when I found out I was pregnant for a second time and terrified when told I was pregnant with twins! TWINS!

By the day the girls made their scary, early, and quick entrance something had changed in me. The hard pregnancy, the fear, something, had toughened me and made me realize that I couldn't wallow in self-pity or worry anymore. I had 3 little people who depended on me. It was time to step-up to the challenge and claim my blessings. And I did! Since then, I've still struggled periodically, but motherhood has given me strength and courage. Whenever I think I can't do something tell myself, "You can do this. You've birthed 3 children and 2 of those at once!" It may sound silly, but it works. Acknowledging that hard work gives me strength.

So, I'm wishing a belated Happy Birthday to my two early girls! Nine years ago you saved me, and you've saved me many more times since. I love you!!!!

I wrote this earlier in the week, but I'm slow in moving photos from the phone to the computer. So this belated birthday post is doubly belated. One day I'll get my self together, promise!

Much Love,

1 comment:

Emily said...

I know how you feel. When I stopped wallowing and started finding the things about the boys that make me smile I love motherhood so much more. I love you and think you are an amazing mom! We will always remember when the girls came into the family!